'She is free to go to her mother': Stepmom kicks out her entitled 21-year-old stepdaughter after she demands to use her car over Christmas break and throw a New Years Eve party at her house when she has a 2 and 5-year-old

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 25, 2024 8:00 PM EST

When you're a college student, it's difficult to suddenly lose the level of autonomy you've grown used to when you go home for the holidays. You've spent the past 4 months being able to go anywhere you want and do anything you want, but come Christmastime, you have to go back to asking your mom if you can go over to your friend Meg's house to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. While I empathize with the struggle of the college kid, being an adult doesn't mean you can get your way all of the time. You can't throw a rocking shindig at your stepmom's house (which has two kids under five living in it) the way you can at the Figi chapter house. That lesson was all too hard for this 21-year-old college student who can't entirely accept that she's not entitled to use her stepmother's car over the holidays. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10446382080
    via Ömer Haktan Bulut

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for telling my step daughter if she dislikes being at our place so much, she is free to go to her mother?
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 03
    My husband has a 21 years old daughter from his previous marriage and we have together 2 sons aged 5 and 2. My step daughter Melly is studying in another country and comes back every year during Easter,
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 04
    Christmas and summer break. Melly is a very entitled person and my MIL says it's due to her mother who spoiled her and did not teach her manners. I won't comment on that simply because it's not my business.
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 05
    Yesterday Melly arrived home for the Christmas break. When she is here she alternates between staying at her mother's house and our house. (I will mention that we are not from the US so here it's not so uncommon for people not having their own place at 21 especially if they are studying). So Melly spent the day yesterday with her mother and today she came to visit us. During lunch she directly asks her father
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
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    'What car am I driving while I am here?'. My husband tells her his car is still being fixed right now so he can't lend it to her. She then proceeds to say that she needs a car to move around and we have 2 in our yard. My husband clarifies those are my cars. Melly looks at me and says something like cool, you can give me one of them.
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 07
    I told her that first of all, if she wants/needs something she needs to kindly ask for that something and not demand it because she is not entitled to anything. And second of all I will not give her any of my cars because 1 of them is a work car given to me by my employer and I am responsible for everything related to that car and we will use the second one to go visit my parents and in laws. Then she
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 08
    proceeds to mention that she wants to have a New Year party and was thinking of having it at our place. I said absolutely not because we are already having something planned and we also have 2 young kids that need to sleep. At this point she was mad and started screaming that we don't give her a car, we don't allow her to have her party here, wes k and it does not even feel like she is my husband's daughter. I told her that if we
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
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    sk so much and she dislikes it S so much here she can go to her mother's place and be a brat there.
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 10
    After this incident my husband is angry at her and my MIL supports me that I don't need to allow her to disrespect me in my house but her mother called me and told me I can't speak to her daughter like that. I told her she can deal with her adult daughter's tantrums herself and while at it maybe she also teaches her how to behave like a normal person.
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
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    teresajs ΝΤΑ But there's nothing to be gained in you continuing to communicate directly with Stepdaughter or her mother. Don't answer their calls or respond to their messages. Your husband needs to be the primary contact with both his daughter and Ex.
    via u/teresajs
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    RaptureSmiles Agree! You're not obligated to deal with them at all. Your husband can be the point of contact and handle it however he sees fit. You've already said your piece, now it's on him.
    via u/RaptureSmiles
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    definitelytheA | agree with this, but if her husband won't speak up or do anything about it, she is well within her rights as a human being to tell her that she's out of bounds.
    via u/definitelytheA
  • 14
    Beautiful-Report58 She can make plans to go out with her friends to a club and use public transportation or have her friends pick her up. These are not your problems to solve or anyone else's for that matter.
    via u/Beautiful-Report58
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    HomeProfessional3543 OP Oh no, God forbid you ask her to use public transportation! Even the Queen of England used to walk among the crowd but not her, she needs a car or Uber not the public transportation...
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
  • 16
    grw2020 Hide ALL the car keys/fobs lest she takes off in your company car!
    via u/grw2020
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    Rowana 133 NTA. Let her mommy deal with her spoiled princess. She can loan her a car, and she can let her brat throw a new years party at her house. Don't feel bad because the person responsible for turning your stepdaughter to be such an entitled brat is telling you that you are in the wrong. Like you said, her mother never taught her better, so now her mother can deal with her tantrums. Personally, I like to raise my kids and deal with the tantrums when they are like 2 because a 21 year old is
    via u/Rowana133
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    S_B1987 I am on your side...however.. i know they're not your words, but 'her mother didn't teach her manners' she does have a father, who clearly didn't teach her either, so it's not all moms fault is it?
    via u/S_B1987

  • It almost sounds like he was hoping she would lend her one of her cars because he is that conflict-avoidant. He didn't say, “Those are my wife's cars, and she needs them." He just said that they were his wife's cars without any further elaboration.

  • 19
    Apprehensive War9612 ΝΤΑ But your husband is. The man has no balls. 1. Your husband should have told her he doesn't have a car & she can't drive yours. 2. Your husband should have told her she isn't using his home to throw a party. She is 21, not a 10yr old having a bday. 3. Your husband should have told her to go to mom's if she is going to be a brat because that attitude is not acceptable in his house. 4. Your husband should have dealt with his ex.
    via u/Apprehensive_War9612
  • 20
    I_wanna_be_anemone You have a husband problem. Why isn't he the one cutting off his adult spawns entitled behaviour? Why did he only intervene after you put your foot down? NTA
    via u/I_wanna_be_anemone
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    HomeProfessional3543 OP My husband does talk to her about it but she is very good at taking advantage of her bio parents and exploting at max the fact that she is a chils of divorce, that dad has a new family blah blah. She is extremely good at manipulating them and most of the times she makes them feel guilty in the end
    via u/HomeProfessional3543
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    TarzanKitty So, what you are saying is that even though you and MIL are totally blaming the mother for her daughter's actions. Your husband has been a super child. parent and equally responsible for his
    via u/TarzanKitty

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christmas family drama stepmother car stepmom cars new years eve parenting stepdaughter dad family daughter mom Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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